Wisps Of Thought

CJHH…………………………..4

In Parallel…………………………..5

When We are Crossed…………………………..6

You are the Love………………………………..7

Believe the Simple Thoughts Expressed………..8

Regression…………………………..9

Has So Much Passed Between Us…………………………..10

A Farewell…………………………..11

When I Depart 12

I Love You with a Passion Fed…………………………..13

We Talked of Letters…………………………..14-15

Poem 5/30/2007…………………………………16

Me Thinks…………………………..17

Caress…………………………..18

All-Star…………………………..19

It is Enough…………………………..20

Genie…………………………..21-22

I Loved You Long Years Before We Were…………………………..23

So What…………………………..24

Dreamer…………………………..25

Let Me Love in My Own Way…………………………..26

Cold …………………………………………..27

Inconsistency …………………………………………..28

Pruning…………………………………………..29

This Hollow World……………………………...30

The Bitterness at Life…………………….……...31

Virtuous……………………………………….....32

The Disarray Would Astonish………………..….33

Anarchy of Mind………………………………...34

Symphony of Rock………………………………35

Never Two Days of Tears………………………..36

Sing Me Away…………………………………...37

Fantasy…………………………………………..38

Blather…………………………………………...39

Resident's Hall…………………………………..40

I Mirage………………………………………....41

Surrounded by the Waning Afterglow of Life…………………………………………..42

Stay Tuned……………………………………...43-44

Children

Cheryl…………………………………………...45

Michelle Sleeps…………………………………46

To Caroline……………………………………..47

Hi……………………………………………….48

David My Son………………………………….49

Spaghetti Kisses………………………………..50

Four…………………………………………….51-52

Little Baby Fingers…………………………….53

Still in the Twilight Hours……………………..54

Priesthood………………………………………55

My Brother Fell Lightly………………………..56

Accolade………………………………………..57

Joy Never Received…………………………….58

The Homecoming………………………………59

For the Glory…………………………………...60

Intersection……………………………………...61

Photographs……………………………………..62

Life Was Never That Good……………..63-64

From the Oblivion of Sleep……………..65

That Bastard Death……………..66
All That We Possess on Halloween……………..67

Car Crash and Two Dying Girls………………...68

Remembering Darrell…………………………...69

Stir Me Up……………..70

Quandary……………..71

4AM at County General………………………...72-73

Sweet love,
you give meaning
to the order
of atoms and molecules.
We are not merely
the chemical and physical sums
of their manifestations,
but more!
A far greater totality
that quests oneness,
with each other,
And with the Infinite Being.

So reaches my love.

We exist in parallel
At most touching
Yet not entering
Into each the other’s spheres.
Distant moons
Whose gravitational pull
creates the tides;
Yet never feel the crystal
splash of the ocean’s
Beckoning waves,
Longing to entice
Their deity
To kiss and immerse in
Their soft crevices.

Stay you moons in space
and you seas in your bed.
Your mutual longings
to be as unsatisfied
as my own.

It seems whenever you and I are crossed,

And I’m thinking it better we should part,

Then a little something that you’ll do

Will touch my heart.

Then once again I fall in love with you.

You are the love of a thousand, thousand loves,

And the star of a thousand  thousand stars.

These days flowing through and past our substance

Are your days-my days possessed by us.

To have not known you

For a thousand, thousand eternities

Until this moment in the unending passage.

Would I have not been the fool

To stay my hand and voice

To not reach out to you,

Drawing you within the unity of my love.

Beloved,

Believe the simple thoughts expressed

All too few times in the past.

Yet when spoken were heart felt,

Heart felt of love.

Simple thoughts bestowed on you,

The nearest sum of my existence

I treasure so,

You and the little you.

I return sweet love

Though I never did depart

For even in my absence

I left my heart.

Cherishing you even more

On my return

Than I did before,

Though I swore and still do swear,

I loved you completely from our first night.

Regression
comes easily in your arms.
Defenseless,
Naive,
Ecstatic,
A cooing child—
Delighted by kisses
and affectionate arms
of one who loves

Oh my C—
Would I not regress 10,000 years
but to be in your arms
Enfolded in their welcoming cloak.
In all my years,
through all my life
I remain but the babe in his
lover’s arms,
No more, nor no less
Than most mortals.

I cling to sweet breasts—
Sweet Wife,
So tenderly kissed by the
Universe.
I welcome your love’s emotion.

Has so much passed between us
That greetings are a burden?
To know each the other so well
And yet so unknowingly
As to confuse love with guilt.
Has so much passed between us
That kind words may
spark the fires of discord?
An action, ill-thought,
Promotes crises unsought.
How many times so wronged each the other
That debt accrued no longer can be paid—
As interest exceeds principal—
by the usurer’s rate.
And vindictiveness over-reaches principle
in the former lovers’ spate—
So much between us—
That forgiveness shrinks as stale emotion.
Anger the ploy!

The nicest, yet the saddest words
When spoken by a friend
“I’ll miss you–really miss you
When you’re gone”–
The building still will stand
The surroundings little changed
But without your presence
It just won’t be the same.

The realization that I must depart
Strikes leaden within the chambers of my heart.
The flow of time, its change that is the norm
as noon and night
flee then pursue the dawn.
In one frame in the vast
motion picture of evolution—
I bring about my obscure revolution,
Leveling the sandcastle in which I hide
by my hand before its washed by the tide.
In good measure I like
The rhythmic rocking of the play,
The ordered anarchy winding through the day.
As much as any I feasted on the roast
and lifted my glass to every offered toast.
One quaff too many? Perhaps! It split my seams.
I wrought the change I thought that I’d desired.
I’ve lists of reasons–or none–for none’s required.
Yet, the most meaningful insight as I go
that life was better being touched by those I know.

The realization that I must depart
Strikes leaden within the chambers of my heart.
The flow of time, its change that is the norm
as noon and night
flee then pursue the dawn.
In one frame in the vast
motion picture of evolution—
I bring about my obscure revolution,
Leveling the sandcastle in which I hide
by my hand before its washed by the tide.
In good measure I like
The rhythmic rocking of the play,
The ordered anarchy winding through the day.
As much as any I feasted on the roast
and lifted my glass to every offered toast.
One quaff too many? Perhaps! It split my seams.
I wrought the change I thought that I’d desired.
I’ve lists of reasons–or none–for none’s required.
Yet, the most meaningful insight as I go
that life was better being touched by those I know.

I love you with a passion fed
By thoughts and words
That go unsaid.

The fondest greetings
and deeds disguised
To mask as best
can be devised
of touchless grasps
and unkissed faces
The voiceless sounds
In noisy places

We talked of letters—
“They are better than phones.”
I’m sure that I said this.
So having just now dropped you off,
and not daring to call you,
I do the better thing and write.
In writing I am moved by inspiration.

Starlight and water.
Two feet in the ocean
I walk on the sand,
My love in the sea.
Five feet away
I stroll by my lover.
Her feet in the ocean
Stirring up ripples.
I whistle
She’s silent
I call
There’s no answer,
Save the slapping of waves,
At the edge of the beach.
I walk on the sand
Seashored and windblown
With starlight and water,
I walk all alone.

Starlight and water.
Two feet in the ocean
I walk on the sand,
My love in the sea.
Five feet away
I stroll by my lover.
Her feet in the ocean
Stirring up ripples.
I whistle
She’s silent
I call
There’s no answer,
Save the slapping of waves,
At the edge of the beach.
I walk on the sand
Seashored and windblown
With starlight and water,
I walk all alone.

And so inspiration of such great volume, has moved me but to a slight height.
I don’t complain, however,
for fate is kind in allowing me to even
feel the thrill of inspiration.
Just ramblings of a mind
too tired to sleep.
Gee, but three months
of surgery is a long time.  
1964

Sleep, fly me off into the deepest depths of night,

To lie blanketed by the warmest dreams.

Reposed beside my Love,

Entwined in Her mystical being,

All else evaporated save our swirled togetherness.

One ether beyond time and space.

Me thinks me love you
Me thinks you fine
Me glad me love you
Me glad you mine

This day me know
Soon go away
But if you love me
Me always stay

Me thinks you love me
As me love you
Me thinks you love me
Me love this too

Once before or more
Having left
Only to return
I can say
With this departure
I do the same—
Surely returning again
To my one Wife
and Lover—
All the both to whom I have given my heart
Ease your soul and let burdens drain away, I depart—
But will return another day.

Surely the brevity of this existence
Should guide us to more carefree thoughts
Than those of soul-wearing guise.
Be my life, my love, my lover—
Caress me in my absence with your thoughts—
In my presence with your eyes,
Your lips,
Your hands.
Await me with the kindest thoughts
The human soul and mind can devise—
And tonight dream of one who loves you
And dream of one who loves you.

I thought you’d like to know
that I threw a crumpled sheet
into the wastepaper basket—
And it stayed.
Somedays we must recognize the
littlest of triumphs
Today was such a day—
So I’ll bask in the self-proclaimed accolades—
Let’s hear it for a clean shot into the
garbage can!!!
Give the sucker a ribbon, an olive wreath and
a discount ticket to a theme park.
Perspectives!
Perspectives!
A steady hand, a good eye and
the right perspective
Can transform a ruined page and a trash can into…
Of course from another perspective
I never learned to slay dragons

Step forward into the unity of my love.

It is enough.
If you think one kind thought of me
to ease my mind
and set my spirit free—
To know that you exist
is as much as I would possess
of you or your being.

This life of constant
quest and decision
The obligation of existence—
a cage.
To spring the lock
of the prison
It is enough.

It is enough.
To smooth your path or you mine
Even if but one pebble
To ease the climb—
To know the caring minds
are there—aware
of each the other
It is enough.
Let those kings and queens
Prance in gaiety through their palaces
Popes and robbers wine from silver chalices .

It’s all
So very small
in the face of eternity.
It is enough.
If you think one kind thought of me.
1981

You are the Genie.
This dispersed universe
was your bottle.
Imprisoned by fragmentation
to a million parts
then grown in this
organic garden.
Cosmic particles gathered.
The prison gate jarred open.
The bottle uncorked.
Fly Genie
to play your magic
working the miracles
of genies—
In this vast forever.

I too was a Genie.
Who can tell me no.
Who would bind me
into mental cages
when I have known
the ultimate cage
of unbeing—
and will again spread
my energy
into all the paths of this
Universe.
I call to the stars
I cast my spells
wherever.
Then particles and energy
gone.
Poured back into
the bottomless bottle.
Gone.

I loved you long years before we met.
Your spirit has walked beside my own,
Known to my own, yet unknown to me.
The promise of your breath has brushed my cheeks
the more-than-20 springs of this existence.
Your thoughts have given life unto my own and
caused my eyes to see.
Your touch—
Has guided me.
I’ve walked not alone—
I cannot explain.
I can but sense, and in doing know—
I loved you long years before we met
I loved you long, long years before we were.

1963

If love truly existed I would say “So what”.
So what is love but temporariness—
A brief embrace,
A silent kiss,
A glance in the daytime,
A touch in the dark.  
Only to be gone with Life
Too soon is the interlude over
Too soon gone the Life
Our possessions, our thoughts
But wasted energy —
So what, I ask, so what?

Dreams—the Dreamer
To say in the depths of sleep
That which cannot be said by light of day.
To face the fears
We fear to face awake
Protected by the darkened bed
Yet more naked than naked.
Unguarded by the strength
of reason and consciousness;
That cloaks our deepest
thoughts, hopes and fears
So often unexpressed during
the mechanical droning
of our waked hours.
May I dream the dreams
that would bring me delight
If voiced by day.
And the demons and devils
Banished by day
Remain so caged by night.

Let me love in my own way
To serve in my own manner
To drift in the eddy’s of the current
While knowing yet I move definitively
with the current of my being.
To love in quiet
Whether passing softly in the corridor by day
Or touching softly in the darkest of love-nights—

Regardless my air of joy, pain or indifference
Accept the love I give in my own way.
Aware that as consistent and as close to
eternal the human frame and spirit can reach.